Do you want to stay at a four star hotel and you think is too expensive? This is how you do it

New York City Highline

Four star hotels in New York City

If you’re planning on staying in New York City during the summer, a hotel with a pool could be probably the first filter you apply when you’re searching for hotels. To this date, I’ve found no better app than booking.com to book my trips; if you are patient and check it everyday, you’ll most certainly find a “secret deal” and great hotels with discounts up to 50% (and sometimes even more).

I have always been lucky, so lucky that I after I book my rooms, I usually get a sweet message: “Congratulations! You booked the cheapest room at Hotel Squirrels Are Everywhere”; and I never had a problem, I always enjoyed my stays… until I arrived to the Empire Hotel, a four star hotel located at 44 W 63 st.

How can a roach improve your stay

Due to the flight I usually take, I always arrive earlier to the hotels, and I always get a: “Don’t worry, we can set you up now”; but not at the Empire Hotel, no Sir; they made me wait two hours… Shame on them! However, to be fair, it was my fault, so I just went for a walk, and I went back to do the check in at the expected time, eager to take a bath and a nap, only to found out that – even though I had booked a room for one –  someone was already there:

Cockroach bathroom Empire Hotel
© Laly York with steady hand

As you can see, that is the corps… May it rest in peace.

I went down stairs to share with one of the ladies at the front desk my “booking problem”, and I felt so embarrassed – for her – that I even waited until she finished talking to another lady, to ask her to go to the end of the front desk and to whisper to her, “Hi, I’m sorry, but I found a cockroach in my room”, to which she replied:

“Oh I’m sorry, it must be a water bug”
“No, it is not; it is a cockroach“, I replied
“Yeah, water bugs are common with this weather”, she replied typing on her computer

My inner answer was far from being a polite one, but mama taught me well, so I just smiled; and then she added:

“Can I offer you a breakfast?”
“No thank you, don’t worry, just take the cockroach away please”
“Maybe a drink?”
“(YESSSSS) That would be nice. Thank you 🙂 “

So I got two coupons for drinks in return. Cockroaches? Keep them coming!

How to get free breakfast, drinks and a better view in a four star hotel in NYC

On Sunday night, after a Stand Up show at the Gotham Comedy Club, I opened the closet to hang up my clothes, but someone – once again –  was already there. Allowed me to show you:

Cockroach in the Empire Hotel
© Laly York with steady hand

This time I freaked out, not only because I couldn’t kill it and the little bastard ran away, but also because it was a freaking four-star hotel!!! I went down stairs at almost 1am, and this time there was a guy at the front desk; he said:

“Good evening! What can I do for you?”

To avoid the “it’s a water bug; no, it’s a cockroach” dilemma, I implemented another strategy; I prepared the image on my iPhone to show it to him, and I replied:

“Hi… I found a cockroach the other day, and now I found a new one”, I said showing him the picture, like a kid showing his parents his first drawing

The guy, horrified, said:

“Oh My God! That’s not a water bug!”
“No, It’s not 🙂 ”
“I am so sorry!”

Before I could add another word, he switched me to another room (bigger one, with a view!)

“What else can I do for you?”, he said, still horrified
“The new room will do, thank you”
“No, no, what else can I do for you?”
“It’s ok, don’t worry”
“Let me give you a breakfast, two breakfasts!”
“Ok… ”
“And a drink! Do you want a drink?”
“No, it’s ok, really”
“I’ll give you a drink, two drinks!… How many do you want?”
“Two are fine”
“I’ll give you four! Please let me know what else can we do for you”

So here is the lesson of the day: trading cockroaches works not only in prisons – as we learn thanks to OITNB wisdom –  but also in four star hotels, in New York City. Saving dollars? Searching for discounts? Overrated.

 

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On a side note: I found at tripadvisor.com, a review by a guest who had the same problem but not the same answer. Here is the link where he shows the “interesting guests“. Could it be time to change my booking app?

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1 Comment

  1. nothing good to say about the bed bugs though. plenty of them in NYC now. no zika for now though. fortunately I can no longer get pregnant.

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